My blog has mostly centered around my struggles with issues like marriage, misogyny and sexism. But it has also been about self-care, forgiveness and self-discovery. It’s about my experience as a brown Muslim woman. My blog is a space for my thoughts. A space for others to relate to my stories.

Today I am married. I am a wife. I am a lover. I want to share this experience. I want to put into words my feelings even though no words can truly capture the beauty and intensity of how I feel.

I am in love with an amazing and beautiful soul, alhamdullillah. The word love in itself is not enough to express how I feel towards him. These sentiments, this attachment, it’s all from Allah who moved both of our hearts for them to become one. United. Allah placed this feeling in our hearts and I am eternally grateful for that.

In one instant, my whole life changed. Love just happened (pyaar bass hogea). Without even realizing, this person who was once a complete stranger became the most important person in my life. I am his and he is mine. A pure relationship sealed with Allah’s name. This is the most beautiful gift from God for lovers to be one, to be together, to be united in the purest form.

He is my whole heart. He is home. I am complete with him.

Although, I’m married, I won’t be living with him until the rukhsati (reception). My heart aches after every goodbye knowing that I am his wife, but I cannot be with him. I leave a part of me behind. It’s not easy and it will become more difficult. But I know, this patience will be worth it. I see it as a blessing, because every moment with him now is precious. I cherish them. I feel him and he feels me. I see his heart. I see love. I see respect. I see Allah in his heart. I see him.

All I want is to be with him. His presence is enough for me. This is the beauty of it all. To be with the person you love is all you desire, nothing less and nothing more. Every word, every touch, every moment is special. He is very special to me.

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Full moon veiled behind dark clouds. Long drive on empty roads. Our souls dancing to Sufi music. Your hand in my hand. This is our world. Only you and I. These are the moments I cherish with you. I love you.