I now want to address issues of zaat that directly affect young Pakistani women who live in the West. I want to point out that my words that will follow come from my personal experiences, from my family and from my surroundings. My words are from  various discussions that took place with close friends and family, who tend to share the same thoughts towards this specific social structure. My words express frustration, anger and pain. But they are also words of hope, change and progress.

My mom is a Chaudhary. She belongs to a zaat of land owners. An honorary title. A respectable and powerful zaat. My dad is a Mian. He originates from a family with religious knowledge and prestige. A saintly title. A respectable zaat. Both belong to honourable zaats.

Now, there is nothing wrong in being proud of one’s origin. This is our identity. An identity attached to the motherland. Being a Chaudhary and a Mian is part of my reality. But at times, I want to forget my roots,  I want to forget who I am. In moments when this title of self-identification is used to place a oneself above others, I search for my true self. I search for belonging. I search for a space of equality and humanity.

But of course, I am a brown woman and I could never find that space until I don’t build it with my own hands. I am a Pakistani woman who lives in a surrounding where people deliberately mingle and marry people from the same zaats. I am aware that there is a sense of belonging, a reminder of back home and a sense of familiarity that we want to retain in the West when we make these decisions. And there is nothing wrong with that. But it is wrong to discriminate against people who do not belong to the same zaat as us, specifically those who belong to ‘lower’ castes. And I want to point out here that I don’t want to change the social structure in Pakistan. I am only speaking about how the caste system is used in the West and how it impact first born generations of immigrants.

These titles and structures of belonging have stripped away humanity. We refuse to see qualities of honour, respect and respectability in ‘neech zaats’ (low caste). We stereotype and generalize characteristics of different zaats. We blame an entire caste when an unfortunate event occurs. ‘This is an inherent part of their nature to do so and so’ as brown aunties have a tendency of repeating concerning a specific group. No. This. Is. Wrong. We speak as if we are the most pure. No. We. Are. Not.  We speak as if we hold the highest status and thus have a right to belittle others. No, we do not hold such rights and we never should. We are not better nor are we superior. Others are not inferior. This social structure and generalizations have made hierarchies that have influenced our behaviours and thoughts towards groups different from one’s own. 

We are blinded. We should open our eyes. Open our hearts. We search for an honourable family, a respectable zaat when it comes to marriage. Usually, parents who stand firm on this structure tend to search for families with the same zaat belonging. They worry that if their daughters marry men from a different caste than their own, it will disrupt their family lineage. No. it. will. not. Parents become stubborn. They blame their children if they refuse to marry within the same zaat. Parents fear about the erasure of their tradition. Stubbornness of parents makes it difficult for daughters and even sons to marry and find a potential partner. Immigrant parents want to retain and preserve their sense of belonging. They fear change. They have become accustomed to familiarity and feel threatened by anything different. But difference does not equate to harm.  Difference is diversity and beauty. But they do not want to see nor hear that. They fear that a man from a different zaat than their own might not be able to understand familial customs. For some parents, marrying someone from another city within Pakistan is not well received. Basically, a man from another zaat or even city will never understand, so a woman should only marry within her kin group. No. she. should. not. A woman should never be pressured to marry someone from her parent’s zaat or anybody for that fact. She should have a right to say yes or no. And if she refuses, parents should accept her decision and learn to accept differences. Zaat should not even matter nor should nationality when searching for a spouse, but that’s a whole other issue.

As a young Pakistani woman, raised in the West, Chaudhry and Mian are part of my reality just like being Canadian is my identity. As a first generation born from immigrant parents, the social structure of zaat impacts my life and that of other brown women in various ways. I battle against these structures that have divided society and have prevented mobility. I do not want to erase my roots. I want to rethink this social structure within my own space. A space defined by diversity, equality and respect.

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”              

 (Quran 49:13)