Thoughts of Nissa

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Journey to Umrah

    I hold my 5 month old in his carrier. My bare feet touch the marble white floor as I make my way toward His house. “Don’t look up, don’t look up, keep your eyes down”, I remind myself as I walk towards the main gate with my husband and toddler on my side. I lift […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Waves of Labour

    There was no sound, but I saw them. Waves were splashing with each other in a rhythmic movement, becoming one. The intensity of each hit was gentle enough not to disturb the direction of the others. There was nothing else around, only a body of water. I felt light. My body moved to the rhythm […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Turning 30: Journey Towards Self-love

    Sipping on cold ice drinks until midnight in mid July. Chattering nonstop on my parent’s balcony until our voices trail off in the dark sky. Spontaneous late night drives with friends around the city. The only worry keeping me up is the research paper I need to submit by Tuesday.  This was my life in […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Power of the pen

    Illustration by @safiyas_designs 100 days of ongoing bloodshed. Mothers mourning the death of their babies. Fathers kissing the lifeless bodies of their children. Entire generations are buried beneath destroyed houses. Dried blood on rubble is all that remains. Broken bones. Amputated legs and arms. trauma. blood. death.  The land will bear witness to the slaughter […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    In Search for Home

    In Search for Home  Since my early twenties, I’ve asked the question of where I belong. I questioned my identity and where I was from, who I was and how I identified as. My concerns came from a political standpoint. I questioned my political identity with everything happening in my birthplace. I was becoming a […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    My Postpartum

    10 months postpartum. Ten months ago my body birthed a life. A human being. My beautiful son.  Yet, it took this long to write about my postpartum. A period of my motherhood journey I was not ready to revisit. I am now in a better state of mind and more comfortable writing about my experience.  […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Journey to Motherhood: Labour & Birth

    It was Thursday, I had contractions the whole day but they became stronger before going to bed. I had in mind the 5-1-1 rule for contractions (contractions are five minutes apart lasting one minute for at least an hour) and so I downloaded an app to track them. I told my husband we wait it […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Journey to Motherhood: Pregnancy

    In early December 2020, I found out I was pregnant. I unwrapped the pregnancy stick from its blue packaging and awkwardly peed on it. The instructions read to leave the stick for a minute or two before reading the results, but even before I placed it down I saw the second line turn blue instantly. […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Let’s talk about sex

    I was 12 years old when my mom took me to my room, sat next to me on the bed and with all seriousness spoke to me about menstruation. She made no eye contact, spoke in a low voice and reminded me how I would soon become “older” with the arrival of the first blood […]

  • thoughtsofnissa

    Worry•فکر

      A few weeks before Ramadan, I was in a constant state of anxiety. I was overthinking. I was stressed. I was worried. I was sad. I couldn’t sleep at night anymore. My mind was always awake filled with thoughts. This impacted my productivity during the day and my overall mood. Part of it was […]